TV show
after show, the audience comprising Barrista coffee-sipping yuppies and their “piano
class graduate” progeny in designer apparel are making our lives a common
nonsensical hell hole.
Whenever
the talk turns to “free water”, “free electricity” this “plague unto the
republic” starts lawyering up on behalf of the government. “Ooohh…how can you give all this free…who
will pay for this…there is no free lunch…what about the economy?”
Yeah
right – what about it, you dim-witted, Sula-wine-on-company-account-gulpers?
These
folks have taken this entire “mind and body” shit too seriously. I had no idea it is taught in power yoga
class. So while their smooth, perfumed
bodies lie unwillingly where they truly belong – with the citizenry of this
republic, their meagre-minds-for-rent cross over to the side of the government. The brain was made to preempt this absurdity. But it is conspicuous by its absence or passivity. The rupee one lakh or more a year school
either removed it or performed a lobotomy.
Hopefully
in the absence of normal cerebral functionality, life’s hard lessons will cure these salaried softies of their monthly bout
of amnesia. Then they may start
remembering the fact that at the end of the previous month, the government took
a big wet bite out of their incomes. And
the fact that every time they spend, the government takes another bite-sized
nibble out of the expense. That will be
the “eureka” moment for the yuppies, when they realize that “direct taxes” and “indirect
taxes” are not just phrases they learnt by rote to justify the 10 lakh rupees
MBA that papa’s money bought them.
Ahhh…that
was cathartic.
The
fact is that barring the ingress of polluted air and egress of gas we pay for
just about everything in this
country. We pay through our noses, ears,
mouths, navels…just about every aperture provisioned by mother nature. And the government is always looking for new,
lucrative holes to punch in our fiscal anatomies.
I
reckon even a driver in Mumbai who barely earns Rs. 12000/- a month (and spends
all of it and more) pays 15% of that – roughly Rs. 1800 a month in indirect
taxes. That’s Rs. 21600/- a year. Small mercy that he is spared direct
taxes. The government will eventually
get there, asking you to cut TDS at source for the driver and deposit it with
them. The same driver lives in a
slum. Now you may not believe this, but
the average slum dweller typically spends more on electricity than the flat
dweller. A slum tenement does not get
direct sunlight or sufficient air and the family has to leave the solitary light
and fan on pretty much all day. Where
does the Rs. 1800 a month go? Or where
does the yuppy’s Rs. 100000/- a month go?
This question is not asked in this country. It just goes – period. Want something in return? Pay additionally for it…
1.
Pay
anywhere between Rs. 1000/- to Rs. 40000/- a month for your kid’s education. And the schools and colleges suck, so pay more
for the coaching class
2.
Pay
for your water
3.
Pay
for your electricity
4.
Pay
for your own security guards at home, there’s no security on the streets
anyways
5.
Pay
toll for roads
6.
Get
skinned by the hospitals
7.
Form
Advance Locality Management committees, clean your galli and pay to lift
garbage
When I
was a kid,
(1)
Was
almost free and good. Our taxes paid for it.
Now its expensive and lousy.
(2)
You
had to pay for it but it was cheap
(3)
You
had to pay for it but it was cheap
(4)
Was
not really needed
(5)
You
did not have to pay
(6)
For
6, folks like us could go to government hospitals…and our taxes paid for it
(7)
Was
done by the municipaity and the salaries were paid out of our taxes
So
between then and now, the volume of taxes collected has multiplied manifold and
what we get in return dwindled down to almost nothing. Even worse, we take this as par for the
course (reference: the arguments defending the government on TV shows).
Pop
quiz: If you were to be left on an island for six months as part of an
endurance training (for which you paid!), given the following options with
regards to what you could take with you, what would you choose:
OPTION
1 – water, food, clothes, books, medicines.
OPTION
2 – Freeways, flyovers, nuclear power plants, fiber optic networks, 300 feet
statue of an inspiring historical leader.
I think
it is time that schools introduced courses in irreverence where kids are made
to enact plays with dialogs such as
“क्या रे? पिछले महिने tax भेजा उसका क्या
किया रे? बेटी का इस्कूल इधर मेरेको call कर रहा है पैसा भेजने को. ठेहेर तेरेको conference पे लेता हू principal
के साथ. आपस में निपटा लो. मै डबल डबल भरने को अलीबाग से आयेला है क्या?
बात करता है मेरे से...काम धंदा छोड के तुम लोग दिल्ली के election में shining
मारो TVचेनल पे! बकवास बंद कर!! इस्कूल को कल तक पैसा भेज दे ...”
Or
“क्योन बे?
जनवरी से tax का हिसाब भेजा नाही बे तूने?
क्या? … (pause while the other party
speaks) … टाईम
नही मिला? साले तू अकेला busy है दुनिया
में बाकी हम सब झक मार रहे है क्या? पांच
दिन में मेरेको हिसाब मेरे टेबल पर चाहिये नहीतो Lokpal को call करके तेरा game कर
देगा मै, क्या? बाद में बोलने का नही - भाई लोग ने वाट लगाया करके.”
Title: In India, Tax Evasion Is a National Sport
India loses 14 trillion rupees ($314 billion) from tax
evasion annually, depriving it of funds for investment in roads, ports, and
power, says Arun Kumar, author of The Black Economy in India.
14 trillion rupees is 14 lakh crore rupees. India’s total tax revenues in 2014-2015 are estimated
at approximately 13.64 lakh crore rupees.
I got this number from the excel posted by the Finance Ministry at http://indiabudget.nic.in/rec.asp . So don’t even think about doubting my
source. Let me know if you would like me
to email it to you. That means, we collect as much tax as we fail to
collect. And the corresponding deficit
is around 5 lakh crore
rupees. Clearly we are a poor country
with plennnnty of money.
Consider this. The
salaried class has all its tax escape routes cut. The mazdoor earns peanuts. So you got to suspect the yubby when it comes
to tax evasion. And hence my conclusion
is that the yubby has got it right. He
pays nothing and hence expects nothing in return. And hence the demand “not to give them
anything free.”. What the yubby really
is saying is – “who asked the yuppy and the mazdoor to pay taxes? Let them evade taxes like me, and then it
will be a fair and square हिसाब. No
give, no take.”
We shall leave the yubby untouched for another day. Possibly for the day when we can say to him “tax भर बेटा, नही तो अरविंद आयेगा.” Gawd I hate this – I finally gave myself away.
